The House of St. Eve

New Year's Eve

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 22:52:07 GMT

New Year's Eve
GeminiAndScorpio.com/events.html

It's my ten year anniversary and Larisa of Gemini and Scorpio is throwing the party I imagined when we talked about how I'd celebrate the end of my tenth year if I had the time and energy. I said, I'd call it The Bootlegger's Ball. A few months later she sent the invite. It's time.

Just go.

xo,
gabrielle

Okay, fine, I'll copy the deets here:

New Year's Eve: The Bootleggers' Ball

Thursday 12.31.09
8pm-6am

21+ with ID (25+ recommended)
$30 advance / $40 door / $50 VIP w/reserved tables & wait service / $20 after 2am
Group rates for 10+ available - please contact us

Check in at Green & Green Insurance Co, 450 Union at Bond, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn 11231
Password required - RSVP here

Buy tickets now | Get password | Facebook

The contraband has been ordered, authorities paid off, and performers lined up for a New Year's Eve speakeasy ball in an enormous and aged warehouse with soaring peaked ceilings, peeling whitewashed brick walls, old wood beams and glowing chandeliers. Expect the intimacy of a daring cabaret mixed with the intrigue of a vintage costumed ball, expansiveness of a warehouse dance party, excitement of live brass, a splash of fine cocktails, and just a dash of illicit adventure and unpredictable moments. FREE Original Sin Cider 8pm-9pm, plus drinks by The House of St. Eve, handcrafted beer by Bushwick Brews, and other delectable potions. Delicious handmade Dub Pies (meat + veg) available all night.

Featuring:
Fiery old-timey jazz - The Mad Jazz Hatters
Stealth brass antics - Stumblebum Brass Band
All-girl all-accordion orchestra - Main Squeeze Orchestra
Blazing burlesque - Mme Rosebud & Jenny C'est Quoi
Eastern-tribal dance fusion - Alchemy Dance Theater
Awesome aerial stunts - Nikki Borodi
Vintage sweet sweet jazz - DJ Jason Blackkat
Re-bopin' jazz swingin' beats - DJ Dhundee
Hobo-tech: depression era techno - DJ Jon Margulies
Fabulous face painting - Painteresse Elysabeth
Tarot & 2010 numerology divination - Marcy Currier
Midnight moment of mayhem - Dan Glass
Hosted by burlesque's charming reprobate Bastard Keith

Plus more live entertainment and surprises, including a live auction of prohibition memorabilia and games of chance in our Den of Sin.
Bring fun items to bet, or be prepared to lose your clothes! More on our amazing entertainers below.

Dress code: depression glamour, evening ball on the Titanic, hobo formal, desperation derring-do.
Effort required.
Own cups optional, but welcome.

Note on VIP tix: we have a limited number of 4-6 person tables for reservations, 8pm-2am (dance party mode after, with tables moved aside). Each table comes with an excellent view of the stage, wait service, and a reservation card featuring a genuine turn-of-century liquor bottle label, yours to keep (while they last!). Please coordinate a reference name for your party so we can seat you together. Smaller parties will be combined at larger tables.

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Live musical acts!

Oldtimey jazz: Mad Jazz Hatters
The Mad Jazz Hatters hold forth with a spirited amalgam of early jazz, Americana and jugband music with stray waifs of soulful Yiddish and Gaelic melody thrown in for good measure. Dressed to the nines, transporting you from the here and now, they serve up the musical magic of medicine shows, house parties, fish fries and speakeasies, coming together in a wonderful place where soulful rural sensibility and big city style harmonize to create raucous merriment.

"Highly Recommended" - All About Jazz. "A great old-time jug band" - New York Magazine. "A wonderful group...They truly capture the spirit and feel of the music from the early 1900's to 20's." - The Fedora Chronicles.

Ecstatic brass: Stumblebum Brass Band
"As of late, this hypnotic rumbling-raunch-jazz trio has been turning up all over the city in a nearly Mephistophelean manner. They appear from nowhere, breathe smoke and fire from trumpet and tuba, pound on their drum whilst parading through the crowd...and then abruptly disappear into the New York night. Are they banshees? wraiths? demons? Do they possess some uncanny ability to locate a lull in frivolity and then dispel it with ungodly powers?" - The Cad.

"The Stumblebum Brass Band's gritty, whiskey-soaked songs like "Smokin' and Drinkin'" rile up guests with Mardi Gras verve" - New York Magazine. "Rousing Anthems" - C.J. Smith, MTV News.

Sexy squeezebox: The Main Squeeze Orchestra
The Main Squeeze Orchestra is an all-female all-accordion fantasy brought to life by their visionary bandleader and local accordion guru Walter Kuhr. Naughty but nice, these ladies have earned a cult following for their wicked pop tributes to Joy Division, Michael Jackson, and Queen, as well as their stirring orchestral performances of music by Profokiev, Astor Piazzolla, and Kurt Weill. For New Year's Eve, an intimate 6-piece ensemble comprised of orchestra members will play golden oldies with hints of sugar and spice.

"More sugar cube than vegan icing, they do cabaret and camp along with all the bellows' best, while dressed, coiffed, and rehearsed like some Central European Berry Gordy fantasy." - The Village Voice Best of 2005

Wondrous entertainments!

Blazing burlesque: Mme Rosebud
Madame Rosebud is burlesque's Eastern Muse. Her specialty: the creation of worlds in which you may comfortably be seduced. As a striptease artist, actor, dancer and storyteller, she has brought her graceful, elegant work to audiences all over the East Coast. Being a natural student of disciplines Chinese, Japanese, Indian and beyond, her work is a uniquely alluring amalgam of styles. The gleam of a blade, a sliver of thigh, the fall of a silken drape, eyes flashed as a warning and an invitation...with these and more, she will make real your dreams. Any viewer will be seduced; the connoisseur will be haunted. Approachable but mysterious, graceful but earthy, sexy but never obvious; this is Madame Rosebud. Formerly a member of New York's juiciest burlesque troupe, the Peach Tartes, she is now pursuing her solo career and producing/performing with her fiancee, Bastard Keith.

Blazing burlesque: Jenny C'est Quoi
The sexy non-sequitur of burlesque.

Oriental-tribal fusion: Alchemy Dance Theater
Alchemy Dance Theater is a contemporary global dance company that celebrates the alchemy of tradition and innovation, tribal and urban, ritual and spectacle. Performing a mixture of intricate choreography and vibrant group improvisation, ADT has enchanted and mesmerized audiences at events ranging from site-specific street theater and underground parties to international arts festivals and large theater productions, both across the U.S. and in Europe. Inspired by ethnic and contemporary dance from around the world--India to the Balkans, North Africa to Brooklyn--ADT creates a dynamic and sinuous language all its own: a moving collage across cultures, from the ancient to the modern.

Awesome aerial stunts: Nikki Borodi
Nikki Borodi is an aerialist, clown, musician and jewelry designer. She has enjoyed performing in the air at Streb, The House of Yes, Bushwick Boat, and Public Assembly to name a few. Nikki often performs to her self produced record Chakra Rock, an album that teaches about the chakras through a collection of rock/electric/funk songs.

Burlesque's charming reprobate: Bastard Keith
Bastard Keith is the quadruple threat singer-host-performer-writer who can be seen providing his uniquely volatile charm to burlesque shows, saucy readings and theatrical stages around NYC.

"A variety favorite." - Time Out New York. "The burlesque scene's darling...he's a delight and a wonderful host with great charisma, and could be a whole show himself." - The Fab Marquee

Vintage sweet sweet jazz [8pm-9:30pm]: DJ Jason Blackkat
Jason Blackkat's first show was with a Dixieland combo when he was 15. He cut his musical teeth performing and studying all forms of jazz, and he has toured America and Europe numerous times as a bass player in a variety of bands and combos. For The Bootleggers' Ball, Jason will be digging though his piles of vinyl for the most vintage cuts outlining the roots and beginnings of NYC speakeasy sounds, from Jelly Roll Morton to the Duke.

Jazz swingin' beats [2am-4am]: DJ Dhundee
DJ Dhundee is known for his eclectic and soulful sets that fuse delicious 1920s-30s jazz and broken beats. From his extensive music collection filled to the brim with classic gems, popular songs and rare finds, he serves up the sounds with his signature style and seamless flow. Dhundee has spun at private parties for Comedy Central, Istar Financial, Spike TV 2006 US Tour, Good Magazine, HOME Magazine, Wired Magazine, David Torres Productions, and Danny Simmons Gallery. Winner of four gold International Promax/BDA Awards for its music compositions for Comedy Central and MTV, Sugarcuts, Dhundee's boutique music production company, also supplies such top TV networks as Showtime, Nickelodeon, VH1, FUSE, Spike TV, and many more.

Hobotech: depression-era techno [4am-6am]: Jon Margulies
Hobotech is depression era techno-contemporary dance music that nods to a forgotten America, celebrating half-smoked cigars and steaming cauldrons of stew. Jon Margulies is a DJ, Producer and Guitarist who has performed with some of the best musicians in the world in a dizzying array of styles, at venues from Winter Music Conference to Carnegie Hall. Jon's music has recently been released on the Cotopaxi and Aurora Music labels, along with a full-length album "Too Big To Fail" which can be purchased on custom USB flashdrive or as a download.

Exciting diversions!

Midnight moment of mayhem: Dan Glass
Dan Glass has applied stupidity to many events, usually involving loud noises, fire, and other forms of creative destruction. Intimidating musical flame contraptions, flying trash dinosaurs, fire whips and jumpropes, and destructo-booth smash enclosures have all been part of the repertoire, so stand back and shield your face, but don't worry, he's usually only a danger to himself. Dan has created flaming car sets for Vogue, WWII-era fire effects for a Dee Snyder film currently in the making, and multi-colored user-controlled flames shooting from 30' masts on the breathtaking carousel-ship A Cavallo. (Reach Dan at Recombust*at*gmail)

Fantastical face painting: Painteresse Elyzabeth
Painteresse Elyzabeth will be offering her exquisite freehand Face & Body Artistry. From small sexy embellishments to ornate masks, from tribal to victorian, in black and white or vivid color, with glittery tattoos and special long-lasting phosphorescent Glowing makeup. Dare to become Illuminated! (You can reach the fabulous Elyzabeth at Painteresse*at*yahoo)

Tarot & 2010 numerology divination: Marcy Currier
artist, intuitive, healer, teacher, irrepressible mystic, light-being on a human journey/human being on a nonsensical journey, inspired by frogs and butterflies (growing legs and wings at the same time) and the healing power of bees. times infinity.

Our fabulous sponsors!

Original Sin Cider
Original Sin is made from the best New York apples and contains no artificial flavors or colors. Light with a clean and crisp apple taste, Original Sin goes down equally well in a pub after a game, served with dinner or dessert, or over ice on a hot summer day.

"Our top American Cider was the Original Sin..." - NY Times Dining In/Dining Out. "The Crisp, not-to-sweet, slightly fuzzy drink in the snakeskin labeled bottle is fit for a champagne glass." - Paper Magazine. "Light-bodied, pale gold and clean-tasting, with the merest hint of sweetness to smooth it." - Florence Fabricant, New York Times.

St. Germain
St~Germain is the first liqueur in the world created in the artisanal French manner from freshly handpicked elderflower blossoms. With a subtle yet complex flavor, reminiscent of tropical fruits, pear and citrus, St-Germain is extremely versatile. It pairs well with every base spirits and adds character to any cocktail.

Great for wedding nights!

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:13:28 GMT

Sairica sent me this:
Basically - For $30 you can marry a fundamentalist without being set on fire, even if you're slutty.

Artificial Virginity Hymen!

No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction.

Sometimes I just need to cut and paste and wait for the anonymous viagra posts.

xo,
g

Terry Gilliam - The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 23:06:59 GMT

I'm a huge Terry Gilliam fan and he's got a new film - The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus.

It looks amazing. It's Heath Ledger's last, with Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, Lily Cole, and my favorites in the bunch, Christopher Plummer and Tom Waits (as the Devil!).

So, maybe it's hype, but here's a link that might help it come to your town.

Check it out.

xo,
g

Mouse Police

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:42:15 GMT

A friend is going to Disney World in the next few days. I shared this with him and one day would like to try it myself. Having been born a Floridian at the perfect time in the last century, I have been to Disney World enough times to warrant perverting the experience for my next visit.

Dear Jeremy,

I have fantasized recently about renting one of their electric wheelchairs - no need for proof as to why you need one, it's just $40 or so in any of the parks - and dressing it up with blinky things like elwire and glow sticks and going through the park like an installation. Certainly, videotaping yourself like this would make an interesting segment and people's reactions would be fun. Testing the limits of the mouse police is also vaguely entertaining. If people ask - You can say the lights make it safer or you can go for the underbelly and say that that the lights cheer you up in the face of adversity while pointing to your legs in the wheelchair.

Nudge Response

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:51:19 GMT

Thank you, Turk,

I have been underwater for ten weeks. I am just waking up from the penumbra. I spent many waking hours getting ready for my private show at PS 122, and now Sex Crimes Cabaret will be at Walker Space, home of Soho Rep, in December for two weeks - thanks to my new producers, Collective Unconscious.

Cesar Salad, my odd little quasi-culinary film is going to be in The Coney Island Film Festival October 4th at 4pm.

Yesterday, I was just at the opening for the Baby Ikki film I made at Burning Man last year. I ate too much. I am now typing inside what feels like a fat suit.

And a music video (OBSCENITY) from Sex Crimes Cabaret will be in this Saturday's Avant-Garde-Arama at PS 122. All the info is on the website - TheSaintEve.com.

In between Sex Crimes and Burning Man, I did edits for PS 122 as well as Montclair University's Peak Performances, who have a tremendous theatre program. And, well, I've been busy and sleep has been delegated to other people. This leaves me rather soft and tiny. I am a mushball of my former self but the mind is reforming and soon this will be a cleaner apartment, and I'll be just full of happy brains and firing neurons.

Last night I went to many shindigs after the opening of the Baby Ikki installation. The event was followed by gobs of Indian food near the Sculpture Center.

Then I went to the White Box gallery with my friend Mary from Artnet and Bec+Malcolm from Superalot, then Home Sweet Home bar - both on Christie. Then I went to Arlene's Grocery, by accident, because I was so tired I was hoping on some secret level that I was supposed to be there instead of Mercury Lounge. It's closer to my house but I liked the band so much I stayed for their last three songs and bought their cd (cute band from Yorkshire called GST Cardinals). And then I finally arrived at the actual Mercury Lounge where I saw Mucca Pazza, who were simply amazing (thank you Larisa).

I need to go to the gym.

That about sums it up.

There's more, but this quickie, poorly written post should do it for now.

Oh Mom

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:38:35 GMT

Mom just turned 75 but celebrated it as her 49th birthday because she started a new life in the States in 1960. She smokes a couple packs a day of cheap cigarettes, sips espresso all day and sends me funny emails.

Having recently accepted a UPS package from me, she emailed to let me know how it went.

I am pleased to inform you that your UPS package has arrived.
Because I was afraid not to hear the doorbell, which you know
sometimes does not ring, and miss the fellow, I put a note on it that said:

"Press ringer with energy and enthusiasm"

He rang several times and when I opened the door I commented he seemed full of energy,
He answered: "No, I am full of enthusiasm."

Here it is, waiting for you.

Besitos,
Mom.

Figment Festival - TIL DEATH DO YOU PART This Weekend!

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 02:56:49 GMT

Come out to Figment! It's free!!

FIGMENT
"Figment is a FREE annual celebration of participatory art and culture where everything is possible."

I have been performing nuptials for people to marry THEMSELVES for
about a year via the one-one-one live art piece:
TIL DEATH DO YOU PART - MARRY YOURSELF!

Website: EncouragingPriestess.com

and this weekend, I'm doing it at Figment.

A lovely article was written by Robert Haynes-Peterson about these goings on at Halogen Life.

I provide "rentals" of costume items, give you a ring, multiple choice
vows, and even email you a self-wedding photo to you after the event.
Feel free to bring your own accoutrements or just use our campy ones!
I also provide a light exorcism if you need to divorce past selves.

FIGMENT is a huge festival. Figment takes over Governor's Island for three days.

Art and performances all day long from June 12th - 14th

I'm only marrying people to themselves on the Saturday and Sunday (13th and 14th) - Not Friday
Noon to Five

Find TIL DEATH DO YOU PART - MARRY YOURSELF in the Nolan Park area.
We will be on a porch of a grand old house with a cannon in front of it!
PD16 on the map
Here's a complete event MAP you can download.
Map detail of our placement is HERE.

No charge for any of this.

Donations? Sure! But no fees or tips accepted on the premises.
Feeling tipsy? Make your donations via Paypal, starting at one dollar
Monies go toward Til Death staff, supplies and transportation and are much appreciated.
In return, you are aiding and abetting epiphanies, and if you'd like, your generosity can be noted on the website in addition to our effusive thank you note.

FIGMENT 2009 HOURS:
Friday, June 12: 10 am – 5 pm*
Saturday, June 13: 10 am – 7 pm*
Sunday, June 14: 10 am – 7 pm*
For ferry location and schedule, please see our Getting There page.

FigmentNYC.com/

About Figment

xo,

gabrielle

EBay as blogging tool

Wed, 20 May 2009 15:54:40 GMT

Did you ever read about the guy who sold his leather pants for $138,000 because his description rocked? The question and answer section alone was worth the archive. He later sold postcards for a lot of money with the promise of driving mad the person of your choice. That was Brian Sack, known also as The Banterist.

Here's another Brian Sack one where he's selling a book signed by someone "more famous" than he is. Not as insane an item as the other two, but the quote below made me stop and write this post. Thank you, Nicole, for sending the link.

"Famous people are better than we are. They’re smarter, more attractive and have health insurance. Fame has made tiny, tiny Bono a larger-than-life figure. Fame is presumably the only reason a pretty, young woman would ever marry Donald Trump. Fame is why Ashton Kutcher is alive instead of floating in the Pacific."

I made polenta with gorgonzola and porcini mushrooms for breakfast. Then I checked my email for the 20th time and thanked divinity for my blessed life.

Acceptance - Figment, my imagination and more

Wed, 06 May 2009 06:14:55 GMT

Hi!

Okay first off - a new favorite link: Deal-with-an-Existential-Crisis

And, I just got accepted by The Figment festival to perform TIL DEATH DO YOU PART - MARRY YOURSELF!
FIGMENT NYC
June 12 through 14 -- 2009

Things are cooking for Sex Crimes.

I don't have swine flu.

I will most likely be going to New Orleans in the summer to be in a play. More info when I know more. I was raised with air conditioning and I suppose living in a hot humid place will come back to me like riding a bicycle... through a swamp. I'll be the one walking through the city naked except for platform shoes and some Vick's vap-o-rub or huddled in a sweater inside a car in between trips to the refrigerated theatre and Whole Foods. Of course, I am excited.

Maybe Burning Man.

See you round?

xo,
g

SWINE FLU - THE MUSICAL

Fri, 01 May 2009 16:12:06 GMT

In "Swine Flu!" the musical, ordinary people start craving bacon and instead of digesting it normally, begin to smell like bacon to a
disturbing degree. The disturbance causes otherwise healthy people to take bites out of this person. So, if you were infected, you could be on the subway, and someone "normal" would be moved to start sniffing you, possibly licking you and then suddenly, goes for your arm.

The victim sings a song.
The biter grunts rhythmically.

The "horrible" thing is that we all have this latent bacon-loving gene and the person afflicted with this version of the flu simply triggers it. Everybody knows that even vegans often miss bacon. A good whiff can turn anyone into a make-shift Linda Blair, however, without the need to die first and become a pale-faced undead person. This brings down special effect make-up costs.

The plot moves along once the innocent predator tastes the fluids of the porky person, contracting the disease, and ultimately "inviting" other people to bite them. The final scene is a kind of crazy feasting zombie-like opera. It's low brow and potentially full of meta understandings.

The best job in the theatre is to cook bacon in the back for low budget smell-o-vision. Once the play takes off, we can invest in scratch and sniff cards.

love,
gabrielle (who washes her hands a lot and does not lick the subway poles)

Drowning Dream

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:42:04 GMT

This morning I had a dream that I'm going to write down here, so it doesn't get lost in my mass of hard drives and wacky notes to myself.

I was at the Burning Man festival, and in the center of the festival was a big lake. (For anyone who goes to Burning Man, the land is called "playa" like "beach" in Spanish -- not like "pimp" in Compton. I mention this because the large body of water in my dream doesn't exist on the actual festival property.)

I walked into the lake with my friend Anne, with whom I usually go to Burning Man. She was in costume and at that point I was not aware of my clothes - so I can't tell you what I was wearing. The lake got deeper and suddenly I could no longer float. She remained comfortably bobbing with her waist above water, but I sank very quickly, assuming this was how I would die. She attempted to help me but couldn't.

In the dream, I said the thing I always imagine myself saying, should a fatal accident befall me, "Oh, well. I guess that's how this one's going to end." I noticed I had gloves on and the surface of the water was no longer visible. I can barely remember the gloves, but they were not work gloves. Tanned? Not lace. Not even sure if they were leather. Velvet?

After a while, I noticed that I was still breathing and waited to see if that would stop - and it didn't. So I did my best to move forward, a lateral move, instead of down. Inadvertently, I must have risen because I began to see feet and as I got closer, someone pulled me up and led me safely to shore.

On shore, I went straight to our tent, which was very much like an apartment inside. I looked through my drawers and there were no costumes - only working sort of clothes, practical things. This made me sad because Burning Man is a costumey event.

Some people entered quickly to change outfits or get water - people whom I was clearly sharing the space with (not strangers, but not friends really, either). I noted that they were the sort of newbies who maybe had heard about Burning Man through a corporate memo and didn't understand the event the way that I do. That's not to say they're wrong, but maybe they rub me the wrong way. A fellow, trying to be kind, reached out to cover my slightly exposed breast. I reminded him that we're at Burning Man, "I may just cover my nipples in gold", so not to worry. He nodded sweetly, as if taking notes in his mind. I began thinking that the gold nipple "outfit" would be inexpensive and "easy to wear"

Just then, Anne rushed in, surprised to see me alive. She was the most radiant I have ever seen her. She looked really lovely at this moment. I hugged her and thanked her for trying. I was okay, but a bit disappointed in my lack of preparation. Costuming may sound silly, but it represents preparation for an event. Not like being naked at the bank, exactly. It's guilt of apathy, and then wishing I'd tried harder. As sleep began to clear from my mind, my last thought was about finding a costume camp, and that I would figure it out. Gold nipples and a tutu?

Upon waking, I called Anne and told her how she represents someone who has evolved a lot. She got kudos in the dream. Last year I worked really hard at Burning Man and didn't get a chance to do a single thing outside of the job. This year, I doubt I'll go, for financial reasons, and possibly because I might be busy. I also haven't been partying much - for many reasons. I guess I'm drowning but if I just keep moving forward, I'll be okay. The end of the dream was like a statement of where I've been and the idea that I have options within my reach.

NYC is my husband

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 17:17:51 GMT

I know I've said it before, but New York is probably the closest I've come to a long-term husband besides someone I was with in the 90's. Like him, it's sexy but overbearing and has a certain grounding feeling that's comforting even though I want to run away a lot. Unlike him, it's not verbally abusive, but that's already getting way beyond the initial metaphor. I'm probably a bad candidate as a wife, in any case, and since I fancy smart guys, they're all too bright to try hanging on at this point. So, the city it is. I come back and it's "reality" in a way that nowhere else really is.

Manhattan Mini Storage is my friend. She holds all the secrets I tell people about, anyway. I am visiting her today with wedding stuff after a successful installation at The Shunt Vaults in London for Spill Festival's Visions of Excess. Flowers, rings, vow sheets, lights, and so on. The laundry was a trip this time round. i usually have fabrics hanging from the ceiling and draped on walls to create a kind of chapel bordello effect. This time the fabric was so moldy smelling, and it was only hung from the ceiling by our fab collaborators, Bernadette Louise and Geordie Blake. The room was vastly improved by our lovely Spill Fest assistant, Nao, who vacuumed the space and helped us clear stuff out, but it needed way more than we could do (or be willing to do) in a day.

At Shunt, we did see a big juicy rat run under the suspended, soundproof-ish room where Nicole and I did our respective performances. We were close to an outside door and I guess it was scared by the trucks that zoom in that tunnel. My eyes were just widened by seeing a fat one so close, indoors (though we were duly warned). And then my phone buzzed in my pocket and I nearly hit the ceiling - complete with that special rat-screamdance that anyone can recognize without ever seeing the culprit.

The computer is the therapist. Poor, overworked 'puter. Though, she did acquire a shiny, black rhinestoned mouse to zhuzh up the tower (thanks, Nic).

My human friends are angels.

xo,
g

In London, counting the blessings

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 01:53:33 GMT

In London, rooming with Nicole Blackman (the evil twin), Julie Tolentino and her partner, Pigpen. Bernadette Louise and Geordie Blake are coming in tomorrow to help us out with our Shunt gig at Spill. Sairica and Benjamin are visiting for tea. Just had dinner with Jon and Sarah, whom I have known for years. I met some super nice people at the Spill Feast the other night and got to talk with Kira o'Reilly for a bit, as well as some other wonderful artists here for the festival. It's pretty amazing, really. I feel really blessed to be among such talented, sweet people.

A friend of mine recently wrote to me about how she hates her life. Another one has a baby and a flaccid marriage. Some are doing well, many are not. My life isn't perfect, but I'm fine and my complaints should all be taken with a grain of salt. If it's on the internet, and somewhat negative, don't panic. I'm mostly flexing literary muscles. It's fun to write about problems because it creates all the elements of drama. But if it's serious, most likely it will stay in a handwritten journal where I dump most of my garbage.

It's probably time to seriously note the memoirs, but I'm so busy living it. It all seems so normal to me, I have trouble thinking of it as book material until I mention one story or another to someone and my life seems so alien. Recently, my friend Rhe asked me to be in her online webcast (Damsel in This Dress, playing an exaggerated version of myself. It was really weird to be examined in this way and I likened it to a gynecological exam. She kept saying, "You're life is so wild!" when I spend most of it in front of a computer, really. But I do have some funny costumes and things. As I poohpooh'd some of her enthusiasm, she told me to be unashamed. I explained that there was no shame, but kind of like a gyno visit - it's just a little bit vulnerable to open yourself up like that. And you can't help but wonder what they see. On that note, check out: http://www.beautifulcervix.com/ But I digress.

Giving thanks. Making sense of it all. Or not and just grateful.

Best album ever

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:11:22 GMT

I get an email from a friend suggesting I check out Nine Inch Nails greatest record:
http://www.nin.com/pub/strobelight/

I signed in with a fake email to see how far they were taking this new promotion
penisfart@gmail.com came to mind
and it went to a blue screen that makes you think you've crashed your computer, but it would only scare you if you had a pc or maybe if you're my mother and feel the need to warn me of internet scams without checking snopes.com first.

Oh, they're bored at NIN. Then again, who's little Miss Penisfart kidding? Who bothered to check it out and then write about it. Hmm?

I've turned in my Hot! Festival application with a bid for Sex Crimes Cabaret. Those things are always so nerve wracking. I need a drink and carbs for no other reason than to calm the part of me that should just have a cigarette already.

I will now think of weddingish list items, as I am suddenly coming to London next week to perform 'TIL DEATH DO YOU PART - MARRY YOURSELF! at Visions of Excess at Shunt for the Spill Festival. Thank you, Nicole, once again for hooking me up.

I am also going to dorkbot tonight in hopes of meeting geeks. I can't do internet dating. I run into the people I'm trying to avoid. In person, I can hide. Clearly I need help. Or a cigarette after 5 years of not smoking. Maybe a yam. Yams are calming. Yeah. Eat. That solves everything.

love,
me

Cheeses Christ!

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:25:05 GMT

So, I'm back in New York from a fab time in New Orleans, where things are pretty mellow and I find out that the last day to enjoy Rocquefort cheese at normal-ish prices is March 22nd. As if Obama didn't inherit enough nonsense. You can celebrate the sad goodbye at Murray's Cheese this Sunday: TimeOut Article with party info

Check THIS out.

Apparently, Bush spent his last days in office wringing his hands and adding a 300% tax on luxury imported goods. So, cheese that was about $8 a pound is now $30, after Sunday. The town where roquefort is made is, like, population 4500. Can you feel the hate? Was that necessary to help the economy? I support local stuff as much as I can, but I believe in encouraging trade, not drowning it when other things are so much more important. It's like his last stab after freedom fries. Man, it's like he's creeping beyond the grave with one more slap. I doubt it's not the last.

BTW - did you hear the latest with Monsanto? They're the ones who make seeds that only make one genetically modified crop. The seeds from that fruit won't bear fruit. You have to buy more seeds. If their pollen infects your crops they don't apologize, they expect you to pay them a fee. There's stuff HERE. A good read? THE BOTANY OF DESIRE by Michael Pollan. The potato chapter talks about Monsanto. Creepy stuff.

SexCrimesCabaret in LA - 9pm THIS Monday

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:07:13 GMT

Hey Kids!

The Engine Collision Fest is on its way and colliding underground film and performance very nicely. I'm excited to be part of it and hope to see you there. They've got some interesting celebrities as part of it, and it's been fun to meet so many artists in one place. A great looking crowd, too, by the way. I am always impressed at how much style men have in LA. They're not afraid to be dapper. Of course, the women are always amazing. Whatever scene they're in, they wear it to the max.

David Lynch is part of the festivities and I discovered his daily weather report from Los Angeles.
Guess what, it's nice out. http://davidlynch.com/

SEX CRIMES CABARET is happening this Monday, March 2nd at 9pm in LOS ANGELES
Engine Collision Festival - 1636 Wilcox
Tickets are $10 (for the whole night, all performances/films) and must be purchased in advance HERE.

For more info on the show, please visit SexCrimesCabaret.com.

xxoo,
g

Happy regime change

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 01:28:28 GMT

Hello from England where watching the inauguration from the Royal Shakespeare Company's green room was completely surreal.

The new ride has begun. Keep your arms and legs inside the moving vehicle. Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold.

Elder Flower in the City

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 03:51:16 GMT

Went to a Latin Fusion place and had elderflower cordial and soda. It was so English in a place that had mostly Brazilian style. I love New York, even after 25 years. Now, about manifesting a larger living space...

Turning 7

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:23:09 GMT

Went to the Party City store today to look for birthday items. I figure I have racked up enough years to give them away. So, tomorrow, people can wear one of the many choices of party hat I have procured and have Happy Birthday sung to them too. We'll be sick of that song by the end of the night, but maybe we'll invent new tunes.

The difficult thing at Party City is that if you aren't turning 1, Quince (only Latinas turn 15), 16, 30, 40 or 50, you have to go with some Disney-type theme for your birthday. You can't just have stuff that says "7" all over it. 4 + 3 = 7. I figure seven is a lucky number and I want to share it with my friends so they can be lucky too.

I will also be cooking, which is one of my favorite things. I think two raviolis might happen. One with wild mushrooms, the other - a pumpkin filling with a sage butter sauce. It will go with Velocity's lamb. And yes, "Velocity's Lamb" sounds like a great band name. I pretty much divide the world into song names, band names and album titles - occasionally books and movies. Titles! Woo hoo!

xo,
g

Suicide Girls Radio Interview

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 04:37:43 GMT

It's been swirly around The House of St. Eve and a couple of weekends ago, I was in LA working an event. The glamorous Sam of Suicide Girls fame was in attendance and kindly invited me onto their radio show whose main page is on Myspace.com/suicidegirlsradio.

Here are some more links if you are interested:
suicidegirls.com/radio

indie1031.com/listenlive

The podcast is free on Itunes as Suicide Girls Radio 12.08.08 "Alex's last show", and for now I'm on SG Radio's top friends list. They are fun and smart, with an interesting array of guests. The show I was invited to also hosted Tard & Feathered who create art events, and the rockin' band Big Elf who are large beautiful men with fantastic hair.

Thanks again to the sexy Suicide Girls who promote living by your own rules.

Writing in the sky

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 01:32:37 GMT

For just US$9.99, Virgin America offers wifi. So here I am, in the clouds, writing. I am such a geek. I promise not to go on about it after this. The Tom Petty song, "Learning to Fly" just came on. The Schedulers score again ...

Just getting back from LA. Worked a party. saw friends, went on Suicide Girls Radio - soon to be podcast. Keep checking and I will even update my website. Now I have to actually write the book i've been talking about. I think I need to combine the bootlegger stories with The Schedulers who need to eventually serialize anyway, so they may as well begin with me. Not to ruin the story, but I think I need to die in it. It's all connected.

If this plane crashes, tell them this was the synopsis -
Gabrielle couldn't handle day jobs. The last one, ten years ago, caused her to go into physical shock, with the chattering teeth and everything, just like the day she was held up at gunpoint. She became an instigator to the chagrin of her shamed and confused mother who lied to the neighbors about her work. Lots of weird jobs. Travel. Creative problem solving. Neurosis. Attention deficit reached serious lows. Where was I? Oh yes. Overly focused at other times - especially when avoiding intimacy. Weak stints at internet dating. Small personal triumphs and dishes of occasional but sincere and profound kindness. Provided Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-roll without partaking much. Preferred to hang out in the kitchen at parties and dream of suicide scenarios. Then she died.

Just kidding. I'm right here and thinking about plastic surgery. I kind of die all the time, which is why I have had so many hairstyles.

"Teenage Wasteland" is on my airline radio. Thank you, Schedulers. I know I haven't evolved much.

GPS

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 06:32:10 GMT

I bought a gps. I tell it where I want to go and it tells me the best way to get there. What I really want, besides the next model up - with speech to text, telling me street names - is a gps for my life. Had I owned the life gps, it would have told me that my current model could not pronounce street names, cuz the BestBuy guy sure didn't know.

I would type in data: Longitude. Latitude. Career Goal. Nearest Boyfriend. Spiritual bliss.

It would say, "Get away from the computer and continue to closet."
"Change into something less dowdy."
I'd make a selection.
The voice (I've chosen "British English, Female") will sound a little snotty as she says, "RECALCULATING"
I continue to make selections prodded by her approval/disgust until I get my next direction.
"Leave house"
I type in a search for "keys"
She will say, "Continue to door" knowing that my keys hang undisturbed on the wrong side of the door. Yes, in spite of every intention to take out the trash the night before, I'd have fallen asleep rather spontaneously, leaving the things in mute expectation of my unrequited chore, inviting violence and humiliation instead.

Okay, so that happened this morning, obviously without the life gps. Instead of the life-affirming tones of the handy life gps guiding me toward my ill-fated keys at the time of my exhausted stupor (about 5am), I passed out in absolute silence. At 10am, my youngest neighbor wildly energized me by opening my door (while I was talking on the phone in bed, naked) in order to kindly leave my keys inside my apartment without knocking first. I think I said something like, "WHOA! WHOA!"

Okay, so in a more perfect world the life gps finds my damn keys and sends me to go do stuff. It's all perfect as long as I don't rebel. If I rebel she gets lost and eventually loses the satellite connection. Is this all sounding a tad like The Schedulers? It's life, in any case, and when you don't pay attention to the small voice it eventually loses connection to divinity - the great satellite in the sky. I certainly think so. The Schedulers haven't gone anywhere, btw. They throw bones of information all the time.

Maybe I'm inspired. I suddenly feel like writing more than, say, cleaning. Of course, if I wanted to just write, I would start cleaning or - hamster that I am - I'd check my email, and that newslink. Or the other link. But the life gps would catch me.

The life gps would watch me run off to Ebay and go, "RECALCULATE" every time I wasn't writing shimmering prose. She'd know I wasn't blogging on MySpace when I click the ex-boyfriend's profile. RECALCULATE. It's going to haunt me. My higher self found a palpable voice.

The first time I encountered a GPS was with Jon Ward who used it for scavenger hunting. Later, the Wards brought me along on one of their wine hunting expeditions in the south of England, where we got to choose celebrity voices for the GPS. I really liked the Ozzy Osbourne one who says bad words.

Mine is too cheap to speak street names, but it's better than crashing with a printed google map in my right hand. At least now I won't make so many wrong turns or pay too much for the gps in rental cars. A five day gps rental pretty much costs the same as buying one. Thank you Andrew Freeman for inspiring me to take the dive into GPS land. Andrew was my favorite KKProjects person. He was absolutely invaluable for the TIL DEATH DO YOU PART installation for the biennial in New Orleans this year. My love of the gps emerged from this experience, overbuying fabric and Party City items.

Oh, and while I'm on the New Orleans experience, a nice review of Sex Crimes appeared in the newspaper. Thank you, David Cuthbert (Times Picayune) and Jim Fitzmorris for meddling. Shout outs to Miss Nicole for descending on her own dime to bail me out of electronic solitude and rocking onstage (as well as bizarre performances offstage involving household items), Billie for faithfully smoothing out the neurosis, Zalia for great tech even when I was a mess, and Dennis/Kristen/Jeff/Ben from The New Orleans Fringe Festival for a beautifully run event.

Okay. I'm done blogging now. And I know where my keys are.

Night Night.

Barack and Sarah - If Faeries Could Vote

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 20:42:21 GMT

Now, maybe it's because I'm an only child, but I always try to imagine the world run by the fae. This usually ends up in a lot of singing and dancing, especially when rivals are concerned. I feel like things would be vastly improved by a little terpsichore.

If presidents could just tango with CEO's instead of getting tangled with them - all things would be put to right. Let enemies sway and know that we are all one and the same.

When this photo was sent to me, I knew my strange little thoughts were being heard:

Play Ancient Drum Machines Via Flash

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:55:21 GMT

Looking for sounds, i found this little gem:
http://www.keyboardmuseum.com/d_machines/vdrums.html

It's rudimentary but I sampled a bunch of the sounds. It has a great collection of old drum machines from the 70's and 80's.

Good clean nostalgic fun.

enjoy!

xo,
g

Sarah Palin's Facebook Page

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 15:52:56 GMT

look here

I just hope Barack Obama isn't secretly the antichrist because I'm voting for him; I'm voting against the ridiculous war; I'm voting for a greener world with an ozone layer and some ice somewhere. I thought last night was a little scary. Not a lot scary, but just enough. I think Sarah Palin was forced to say "noo kyoo lar" because there were a couple of moments when she almost said "nuclear" and corrected herself. What worries me is that I don't think politicians do much more than cater to corporations.

Oh, good morning. I need more coffee.